Adult Hot SMS Biography
Source(google.com.pk)A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.
Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.
Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night? Aunty: he was checking my temperature. Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.
What is meant by burning desire while making sex? It's when you discover that the Vaseline you applied before ucking in the dark was the tiger balm.
What is the difference between a cricketer and condom? A cricketer drops the catch and a condom catches the drops.
What's the similarity between school bell and girls hole? When you hit any of these, children come out.
Sardar: I divorced my wife on the first night.
Friend: why?
Sardar: I saw the label on her panties "tested ok"
What is sex? Its science with wife, its art with girlfriend, its commerce with prostitute and its social service with aunties.
Who is a true music lover? Ans: a girl is singing in a bathroom while taking bath and a boy near the keyhole is using his ears and not his eyes.
Man with no sex organ used a vibrator for years one day wife caught and asked: how dare you cheat me? Man: I will explain about the toy, can you explain about kids.
How to tell your girlfriend if you are going to urine during dinner? Dear, I've to shake hands with a close friend whom I am going to introduce you later.
Dad brought a robot which slaps a person who lies.
Dad: son, where were you?
Son: School, robot slap. Son: film.
Dad- which one?
Son: sai baba, robot slap again. Son: "A" film
Dad: what? I have not seen such films, robot slaps dad.
Mom: forgive him dear after all he is your son, robot slaps mom.
A few quotes on girls t-shirt:
there s a face above this, don't forget.
Object here appear bigger than they are.
I made you look at it.
F ck all that is missing is u.
Don't try to find sun here, its not mountain. This one is really tough for Edmund Hillary.
An innocent man watching blue film for the first time after marriage and see his own wife in it.
A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.
Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.
Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night?
Aunty: he was checking my temperature.
Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.
Prof: to keep your character good, think every woman as your mother.
Student: but thinking every woman as my mother will make my fathers character bad.
Girl: my right leg is lunch and left leg is dinner, what you will like to have?
Boy: I would like to have snacks between lunch and dinner.
A maths professor sent a sms to his wife. Dear you are now 54 years old and unable to satisfy me. Now I am with my 18 years old female student so I will be late tonight.
Wife replied: dear you're also 54 years and unable to satisfy me. Now I am with our driver who is also 18 years. As you are mathematicians you know very well that 18 goes into 54 many times more than 54 goes into 18 so don't come tonight.
Sardar was very angry because all jokes were about him; he asked his wife, tell me one joke without my involvement. His wife said: I am pregnant.
Wife: remove my nighty.
Sardar: ok
Wife: remove my bra
Sardar: ok
Wife: remove my panty
Sardar: ok
wife: never wear my dress again
Less noise: implementation of sex using while loop.
#include sex.h
#include bed.h
void pain ()
{
int sleep=0;
clothes=0;
voice=aah:
do ucking(); while (end1=pleasure);
get condom();
else
getchild();
}
Difference between good girl and bad girl. Good girl Open a few buttons in hot atmosphere, but bad girl open all button to make the atmosphere hot.
An innocent man watching blue film for the first time after marriage and see his own wife in it.
A couple having sex in bedroom asked son to stand in the balcony and keep telling them what's going on outside.
Son: john is buying fruits, Tina is playing and Michael uncle is ucking his wife.
Dad: what? Is he doing it openly?
Son: no, I haven't seen him but his son is also standing in the balcony.
Teacher: why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw one strap of your bra.
Teacher: get out of the class for 1 week.
Two boys laughed, Teacher: why did you laugh:
boys: I saw both straps. Teacher: get out for 1 month. She bent down to take chalk, jony started walking out.
Teacher: jony, why you are going out?
Jony: what I just saw I think my school days are over.
Salesgirl: sorry sir you can't smoke here.
Customer: but I bought cigarette from this shop.
Salesgirl: we shall sell condom also but it doesn't mean you start ucking here.
Nurse came out with a new born kid. Sardar rushed to take the kid and after seeing screamed, I got son. Nurse slapped him, leave my finger you fool, it's a girl.
Man charged for necrophilia judge: I haven't seen such a case in 20 years. Can you give me one reason why you did it? Man: I can give three 1. Its none of your business. 2. She was my wife and 3. I don't know she was dead as he always behaved this way during sex. He was pardoned.
A dancer bends down, a USA guy puts $100 in her panty; English guy puts $200 in her panty. A Sardar took his ATM card, swipes between her ass and takes all $300.
Maid cleaning bedroom found a used condom and keeps looking at it. Madam asks: don't you have sex in the village? Maid: yes we do, but not till the skin fall off.
Boy: how much calcium is there in woman's breast? Girl: I don't know but it has enough calcium to help man boneless things stand up.
Man1: my wife is afraid of water?
Man2: how do you know?
Man1: Last night when I returned home, she was in the bathroom tub with our security guard.
A girl wearing a very short skirt.
Boy: wont your mom tells anything about your dress?
Girl: my mom will be very angry because I am wearing hers.
Lady: my breast look smaller.
Doctor: come daily for one hour I will suck it and make it bigger.
Lady: my husband sex organ is also small, shall I bring him.
Wife read a book and tells her husband, a bull ucks 300 times a year. You don't do quarter of that. Husband: does the book say the bull ucks the same cow?
Don't play with street dogs, you may get rabies and don't play with smart boys you may get babies.
Boy: I am 20years old, what about you?
Girl: I am also 20 years old.
Boy: then come to my bed room,
girl: for what?
Boy: for playing 20-20.
A quote written on women t-shirt: no use of looking they won't get bigger, unless you work on them.
Johny came crying,
dad: what happened?
Johny: today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out.
Dad: that's bad, but why you are crying?
Johny: I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me.
During Gandhi times, if aids were known, what would happen? Then the 4th monkey would have kept his hands down.
Biology class master: all of you draw the male reproductive system. Student: sir please close your zip, girls are copying.
Monkeys and girls are same, because they fight only for banana. Boys and rats are same because they are always searching for new holes.
Girl is the best vehicle in the world front two bumpers, back two bumpers, self lubricant when hot, finger touch ignition, monthly automatic engine oil change, every type of piston fits, highest mileage of nine months in just two ml fuel.
Why bays walk fast and girl speak more? Because boys have one extra leg and girls have one extra mouth.
Define bra: under shoulder ball holder.
Define underwear: under hip banana grip.
Define panty: jungle river cotton cover.
90yrs old man: my 18yrs wife is pregnant, your opinion.
Doctor: I tell you a story. A hunter in hurry took an umbrella instead of gun. He saw a lion and lifts the umbrella and pulls the handle. The lion drops dead.
Old man: that's impossible someone else must have shot it.
Doctor: exactly now you understand.
What's the difference between hook in cricket and hook of bra? One sends ball out of boundary and another keeps balls within the boundaries.
Explain rape: it's a difficult job, something like playing golf with a moving hole.
Prince and Sardar were having dinner, prince says, pass the wine you divine. Sardar thinks how poetic, Sardar says pass this custard you bastard.
Judge: why do you want divorce?
Man: she doesn't satisfy me on bed.
Judge: is it true madam?
Lady: dam it! The whole colony is happy, only this idiot has problems.
Women's life is very hard. Morning: wash the dress. Noon: dry the dress. Evening: iron the dress. Night: remove the dress. Midnight: search the dress.
What's common between a girl and amul butter? Both are utterly butterly delicious when spread. One on bed and another on bread.
Do you feel boring? Thinking what to do? Open the zip; insert your two hands in-between the zip take out your book from your bag and study.
Husband: I am going out for five days. Wife: ok but don't surprise me by coming back early otherwise you will be surprised.
Nurse put patient finger in her mouth, after blood test. Patient starts dancing, nurse asks: why you are dancing? Patient: next is urine test.
Lady patient: Doctor please cal my husband inside. Doctor: Trust me I am gentleman. Patient: No Dr. your nurse is sitting outside and my husband is not gentleman.
What is heaven?
Thousand of girls and buckets of beer.
What is hell?
When you come to know that the buckets have holes and girls don't.
Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: "can kids of our age have kids?"
Teacher replied " NO Never!!"
Boy said to girl : "see i told you not to worry!!!!".
Wife: I am going to London. What gift do you want? Husband: a British girl. (Wife return to India) husband: where is my gift? Wife: wait for nine months.
One roman girl asks an Egyptian boy what you will do for me. Boy replies come behind the pyramids, I will make you mummy.
Elephant to camel: why do you have breast on your back? Camel: that is a ucking good question from someone with a sex organ on his face.
Sex is like restaurant, sometimes you get good service, sometimes bad service, sometimes no service and many times you have to be happy with self service.
Husband come home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoot his friend to death wife said "if you behave like this, you will lose all your friends one day.
How to activate sex card. Open bra, press nipples, scratch the panty, and insert pennies. A sweet sound will confirm the activation validity nine months
Ten girls jumped into swimming pool. Suddenly, all water disappears why? New whisper ultra absorbs all water.
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